I attempted to fit in.
I tried to laugh , by making fun of people around me.
I tried to blame, others for my mistakes.
I tried to inculpate my inabilities, on my misfortune.
I tried to find happiness in vanity and sin.
I tried to find love in validation from a place I was told not to.
I tried to find sadness, in my unfulfilled desires.
I tried to find beauty in my pretence and facade.
I tried to live like the rest of them.
Life without a purpose, a calling, a meaning.
I failed.
But I did succeed
At being shallow and restless.
At dwindling my empathy.
At losing the truth in my words,
At losing the gratefulness in my breath,
At losing the humility in my eyes,
At evading my true calling.
Until one sleepless night.
The calling was strong and vehement enough,
To pull me out of the present.
I walked out in the dark.
The chilly night tingled every inch of me.
I looked up at the infinite gleaming sky.
I felt not scared, but protected.
I felt not uneasy, but truthful in a long time.
I looked down inside myself.
I found everything I’ve been looking for in crooked places.
I realized You were with me all along
I came back to You tumbling.
And You came to me running.
I told You of my fears and mistakes.
I told you of the guilt I gathered from my imperfections.
And,
You showed me the truth,
To love the creator, not only the creation.
To accept and forgive flaws of humans,
To find happiness in sacrificing,
To find sadness in suffering of others.
You gave me the courage,
To be not scared, of living differently than everyone else.
Caught me from sinking in depths of my mess.
I realized, I never needed to fit in the world.
I might be lost in the stream of creation.
But I will never lose my peace.
All I need is Your Remembrance within me.
For its never too late to listen,
To your Calling.